• About
  • First time here?
  • Sitemap
  • Archives
  • Categories
  • Really Lame Videos: Unboxing and Vintage Fan Objectification

    2011 - 09.07

    First, a disclaimer: none of these videos are, at face value, funny or really all that entertaining. You could file these under “because we have nothing better to do”… which is exactly where it starts to get funny and/or entertaining. In any case, I’m setting the bar low here.

    I thought I’d try my hand at two video genres that I’ve never attempted before this weekend. The first is known as an unboxing, a raging trend that occupies some position in the zeitgeist between planking and twittering. The concept is pretty simple: you get something exciting in the mail, and then you film yourself spending as much time as possible opening it up and glorifying the contents, with the goal of arousing intolerable jealousy for whomever is watching. It helps if you have a very new or sought-after commodity to do this with. In my case I’m using the Vinyl soundtrack album for the previously reviewed iPad game “Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP”. You might say I’m delving into a sub-genre of unboxing because the item in question is something relatively obscure and nerdy. There will be a very specific subset of people who will think this is ultra-badass, and the vast majority of people will just not care, possibly at all. While this limits the potential audience, it also increases the chances of success for your ultimate goal in an unboxing video; illiciting an unbridled, disgraceful “That should SO be ME!” from the viewer. Without further adeiu:

    The second video descends even deeper into the obscure sub-genres of youtube loser-ism, which is partly what makes it so fascinating. I’m not sure what you’d call it, but let’s go with “vintage fan collection show-off videos”. Believe it or not, there are some established protocols for videos like this. Observe the example video:

    The formal rules are as follows:

    1. Have a rare, old fan that you scored from either eBay or a junk heap somewhere. Show nothing in the video except this fan, with the exception of other fans.
    2. Since this video is intended for fan collectors, and no other members of society, you must specify the fan maker, your estimate of when it was built (I failed!), and show the sticker on the bottom with the serial number, as if anyone, anywhere could possibly decipher some meaning from that.
    3. About halfway through the video you need to do something clumsy like accidentally drop your prized fan, and then drop some choice expletives so that the video is not suitable for work, children, or the sensitive of constitution.
    4. You should sound like you turned on the video camera with zero remote idea of what you were about to say, and also make some reference to living at your parents house. Try to sound bored, like you’ve been doing nothing of interest for the previous 6 hours before you started this recording.
    5. When it comes time to end the video, you need to say that it’s because you’re about to run out of videotape.

    Tags: , , , , , ,

    3 Responses to “Really Lame Videos: Unboxing and Vintage Fan Objectification”

    1. anonymous says:

      totally agree here! i never liked watching unboxing videos of stuff… they are pointless and lame.. i have no idea what do people find so special in unboxing videos and why do they do it?

      it’s like unwrapping a kinder surprize egg and being amazed by the toy inside

      if i were a fan collector, i wouldn’t make pointless UNBOXING videos and calculate the rpm, acceleration and downspin time lol

    2. NineTenthsShavinPowda says:

      Oh my fucking god dude. I read this post and watched the “example” fan video with a straight face, as well as the beginning of your video, until “alright, turn it off, check the spin down time”. Hhahaha. Do some of the fan guys keep stats on that? Is that even a thing?

      “Yo dawg I filed the edges of my blades with 600 grit it increased my spindown time by 23% and increased my mana by 12 heart pieces.”

      Good christ.

      • Heh heheh hehehe, I laughed quite a bit at your reaction

        As for spin down time, I did lift that from another fan video, so yes it IS a real thing! How seriously do they take that? I don’t know. I guess as serious as you want to take it. I think maybe there might even be a few people lurking around here who might be able to tell you……